BUT, COME JULY, WE'LL RIDE THE FERRIS WHEEL

- 24 is back to its old tricks after one episode of genuine emotional resonance. In one sense, that's good because this episode had a lot more action than last week and more insanity than you can shake a stick at (list of that in a sec) but, on the other hand, I would say that last week's episode was legitimately good; this week is only good in the sense that 24 always is. That is to say, it's a really stupid show that takes itself completely seriously and that's why it's great. Anyway, the important stuff:

- Jack convulsing on the floor was a thing of genius and beauty, his facial expressions especially.
- Jon Voight was no slouch in Cage-level freakouts either, his big moment being after he threw that guy off the balcony.
- Speaking of which, that was nuts.
- It seems like Jack is the new Bill/George and Tony is the new Jack. I'm not sure how to feel about this development.
- The president is all like "ABORT THE MISSION" and the generals are all like "WTF, mate?".
- Both the president's daughter and Jon Voight are masters of the cell-phone camera.
- Speaking of that, Voight may as well have been like "I got pics, son!" when he was showing the president the bio-weapon missiles.
- I like that he also has basically no motivation whatsoever for being the crazy, evil fuck he is
- The lack of Janeane Garafalo in these newer episodes is distressing, she was here for a bit as imitation-Chloe helping Tony hack a keycard-reader but that's not nearly enough.
- So, the question remains, are they actually gonna kill Jack? If so, that's pretty crazy, I guess the show would end up being "The Renne & Tony Hour" at that point.

- Lost was pretty great last night. Not as good as the other Ben-centric episodes but still great nonetheless. That we're finally getting some answers as to the conflict between Ben and Widmore is great but what I was most surprised at was that the episode actually made me feel somewhat sympathetic towards Ben. I like Ben as a character because he's such a master manipulator (though, we're beginning to see that may just be a facade that's starting to crumble) but his basic appeal is that, to be frank, he's a dick to pretty much everyone. That said, "Dead Is Dead" showed that he has a heart (and a soft streak a mile wide when kids are involved) beneath all that calculation. We got some mythology that will get the message board people chattering away (what do those symbols on the smoke monster's lair mean, exactly?) but, more importantly, we developed characters and had a good story. I'm not sure what I thought of the scene with Penny and Desmond at the docks, though. On the one hand, it would have been a cool twist to kill her, on the other, it's a cool twist that would have ripped my heart out (especially since I watched 'The Constant" on DVD on Tuesday). Anyway, next week's episode appears to focus on Miles, who I'd like to learn more about, so, I'm looking forward to it.

- This new Eminem song is sort of confusing to me. I hate the chorus and the tone he's rapping in is dangerously close to the overly-goofy one used on Encore's "funny" tracks but he's rattling off pop-culture stabs at an impressive clip and some of the stabs are actually worthy as stand-alone punchlines (I liked the bit about Ellen Degeneres which segues into a bit about Sarah Palin). It's no "My Name Is" (the jokes are too tame, for one thing and these super up-to-the-minute references are bound to get old pretty quick) but it's also no "Just Lose It" (there's only two lines of juvenile fart-humour type-stuff which aren't too bad, actually). Also, the video's pretty funny, if really similar to earlier videos of his and I like that he's willing to mock his own image in the media (the bit about those photos of him in an Alf shirt that got out a few months back is pretty great). Overall, decent (and way better than that "Crack A Bottle" mess) but I'm still not holding out that much hope for Relapse. Funny thing is, if he just plugged the lyrics from this freestyle into an actual song, it'd actually be better than his past, say, 4 singles.

FIND MY HARBORCOAT, CAN'T GO OUTSIDE WITHOUT IT

Long time, no post:

- There's been two pretty good episodes of 24 since I last posted. Highlights:

- Jack gets into a car and finds an open laptop on the seat.
- Jack's white-fu showdown with Quinn AKA Bizarro Jack Bauer, climaxing in Jack throwing a screwdriver through a bulletproof vest.
- "If you want to kill me, you have to look me in the eyes", "Alright"
- Senator Mayor AKA Red Foreman AKA the sniper dude from Robocop died; single tear. I was disappointed that he didn't call Jack a dumbass or tell him that the Tigers were playing tonight, though.
- Colm Feore's back!
- Jon Voight is basically the guy who runs Blackwater.
- Tony got captured!
- Good firefight at the loading docks.
- The bad guys clearly know who they're up against because they send an attack helicopter to take out Jack.
- Jack's exposed to the gas: OH NOES.

- Lost was pretty good last week but I don't have much to say about it. It was just a good, solid episode; nothing particularly great but it moved everything along very well. I was also very intrigued by Sayid meeting a young Ben at the end of the episode.

Films I saw over the March Break:

Step-Brothers:
As dumb comedies go, this is a pretty good one. John C. Reiley and Will Ferrel work very well together and that chemistry is able to redeem some, though not all, of the cruder bits. There's also some surprisingly witty banter going on. I'm getting really tired of Ferrel's shtick but I'll give this one a pass.

Punisher: War Zone:
Let me put it this way: Would you like to see a film where someone shoots people while spinning on a chandelier and then rams a chair leg through some dude's eyeball? If you said yes, this one is for you. The "plot" was so simple as to be non-existent, the acting (with the exception of a hilariously over-acting Dominic West as the crime boss) was flat and bland and the film generally reeks of the kind of b-action stink usually reserved for mid-80's Chuck Norris fare. But the action scenes are impeccably constructed with lots of "bam" moments and good variety (firefights here, semi-kung-fu there), so, if you feel like turning your brain off and enjoying some mindless violence for a while there are definitely a lot worse ways to spend your time.

Transporter 3:
A big problem with modern action movies is the choppiness of the fight scenes and this is my big complaint here: everything is cut at such a furious clip there's so sense of scale or chance to absorb anything. The Statham redeems it somewhat and some cool stuff couldn't be ruined by the direction (the car chase was pretty cool, Statham using his shirt to fight a guy was funny) but, overall I just wasn't feeling this one. That said, the acting was good all around and the premise allowed for some good moments. Still, when the point of your movie is action, the action scenes need to be great and, here, they weren't.

Rocknrolla:
Guy Richie's gig is wearing a bit thin on me but this is his best movie since Snatch, not that that's saying very much. Still, the acting worked well, the characters were enjoyably quirky (if a bit less crazy than Richie's other films) and it represents a step forward for Richie in a couple of ways. First, there's actually a female character in one of his movies for once! She's kinda stereotypical but I liked the way Thandie Newton played her. Second, and this was very surprising to me, the gay dude wasn't played as an offensive stereotype; he was just another member of Gerard Butler's group, sexuality near-irrelevant save a couple of quick bits of jokey banter and a rather hilarious dance scene between him and Butler. The plot was a bit too twisty for its own good (I got lost somewhere in all the property-dealing talk) and I think that one more movie of this type is all I can tolerate from Richie. But, for now, this an entertaining bit of gangland whimsy, though I'd still say to watch Snatch before any of his other films.

Know1ng:
Rating for this movie without The Cage: 3/10 (bad Christian symbolism, cheesy SFX, okay acting, end-of-days plot that would have been old hat in the 80's)
Rating for this movie with The Cage: 8/10 (More crazy twitches and nutso eyes than you can shake a stick at. He also unveils some new Cage hand motions. No "Put the bunny back in the box" or "Get off the bike"-level quotes, though)

That's all for now, I'll talk about Resident Evil 5 when I've played a bit more.