TWO OCEANS AWAY

- 24 last night managed to strike a good balance between the over-the-top Tom Clancy-esque counterterrorist action that we know and love (list of insanity forthcoming) and the genuine resonance that it can reach at times. I, like all true 24 fans, hate Kim but if they're gonna bring her back into the show this is the way to do it: a brief cameo, a few lines and a cry session with her dad. And she might even be useful this time around! Also, the ending twist did catch me by surprise but I hope the story is more that Tony has his own terrorist thing going on and less that he's working for whatever Hodges is a part of, because the latter would make no sense.

Anyway, the good stuff:

- The president is all like "You're under arrest" and Jon Voight is all like "RAGE!!!".
- Jon Voight and the president's husband should have an old-man rage showdown.
- I guess I would call what Tony did to those guards latino-fu, but I don't know if it even merits that distinction; it was so clumsy and awkward.
- I did like his desperate attempt to grab the trigger device and his brilliant jump away from the explosion, though.
- I do actually like how the show is showing Jack being weak and unable to help for once, it's a change.
- When that black dude whipped out the shotgun, Larry scrambled behind that dumpster right quick.
- I swear to god that the one agent who the black guy shot was in American Pie, can any one confirm that?
- Larry (A.K.A. Agent Douchebag) didn't get a silent clock but he didn't really deserve one, though the way he died was hilarious.

- That whole Ten Redux thing by Pearl Jam? It's interesting but it's not worth re-buying that album for, and I say that as I guy who's top ten albums would likely include Ten. That said, I would say that it's at least different enough from the original that it merits checking out. The main thing that's changed is just that everything, from the instruments to the vocals, is made clearer and hits harder. Ten, while great, is probably the most "90's" album in terms of production that you'll ever hear. By that I mean, the original mixes have this weird gauzy, cotton-y feel to them, as if everything is slightly out of focus, and all the elements tend to blur into one another at a point. Ten Redux cleans the mix up so that everything has its own distinct sonic space and, for most of these songs, that's a plus. "Jeremy", "Even Flow" and "Alive" have been drained of some of their power by constant radio play but these new mixes beef up the punch, giving them at least a slight bit more life. Same story for the other rockers like "Once" and "Why Go". The only time I think that the old mixes were better is when the album slows down: "Oceans" doesn't have the same, excuse the pun, watery, calming drift when that mush of acoustic and electric guitars is pulled apart, "Black" feels a touch too melodramatic when those piano crashes are made clearer and the new mix of "Release" shows a bit more unnecessary torture in Eddie Vedder's vocals that isn't covered by that shimmering guitar line. That said, the rockers outnumber the ballads, so, overall the album is better. Still, it's not better enough to justify buying this new set if you already own Ten (and, really, who doesn't?) and, due to the radical difference in price points between the two, I would still recommend the original album over this for newcomers.

- No Line On The Horizon is a good U2 album (and a lot better than I thought it would be after hearing that "Get On Your Boots" mess, which I shall not speak of again) but it clearly wants to be a great U2 album. It doesn't get there for a couple of reasons but it's a good bit better than their last couple of efforts. I really didn't care for How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb because I thought that it was too straight-forward in its attempt to write anthems and I've always liked U2 the best when they know how to temper their arena-rock impulses with either introspection or atmosphere (and, ideally, both). No Line, in its best moments, is a worthy successor to The Joshua Tree in this way as it balances grand-sway melodies with open-space grandness and heart-bearing romantic ache. The title track starts off a bit awkward but once it gets going it has a lovely, up-down rhythmic bob, "Magnificent" is a worthy entry into U2's canon of arena-shakers with Bono's strong vocal hammering that chorus home (it's the next single, good call) and "I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight" is a bit obvious in its shout-along hook but it's still an effective little rocker. "FEZ-Being Born" is a bit unsure of itself (and the intro goes on far longer than it needs to) but I like the lightly industrial grind of its guitar work and "Unknown Caller" dresses up itself a bit unnecessarily with watery synth tones but it has an open-road drive worthy of a vintage mid-tempo b-side. Somewhat surprisingly, the album's best moments come when it slows down; "White As Snow" is a lovely, sorrowful update of a traditional folktune but the best song here is "Moment Of Surrender" a mid-tempo ballad, which, while a bit overlong, has an open-hearted ache reminiscint of "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" but updated with the lessons that the band has learned since then. The problems with the album come either when the band go too far into their atmospherics (as in the formless "Breathe" and "Cedars Of Lebanon", which, unfortunately, close the record) or try to be nakedly up-tempo (the stumbling white-boy funk of "Stand Up Comedy" and the aforementioned disco-fied tragedy "Get On Your Boots"). Moreover, the album was produced, for the most part, by Daniel Lanois and Brain Eno who are, of course, responsible for the two U2 albums that pretty much everyone loves (Joshua Tree and Achtung Baby) but it's not quite up to snuff with those two albums mostly due to a problem of the band not writing songs that are up to those standards. However, if reports are to be believed U2 will be putting out another album this year titled Songs Of Ascent which will be, apparently, slower and more meditative. Given that the slower tracks were the ones that worked the most here, I'm looking forward to hearing that one.

BUT, COME JULY, WE'LL RIDE THE FERRIS WHEEL

- 24 is back to its old tricks after one episode of genuine emotional resonance. In one sense, that's good because this episode had a lot more action than last week and more insanity than you can shake a stick at (list of that in a sec) but, on the other hand, I would say that last week's episode was legitimately good; this week is only good in the sense that 24 always is. That is to say, it's a really stupid show that takes itself completely seriously and that's why it's great. Anyway, the important stuff:

- Jack convulsing on the floor was a thing of genius and beauty, his facial expressions especially.
- Jon Voight was no slouch in Cage-level freakouts either, his big moment being after he threw that guy off the balcony.
- Speaking of which, that was nuts.
- It seems like Jack is the new Bill/George and Tony is the new Jack. I'm not sure how to feel about this development.
- The president is all like "ABORT THE MISSION" and the generals are all like "WTF, mate?".
- Both the president's daughter and Jon Voight are masters of the cell-phone camera.
- Speaking of that, Voight may as well have been like "I got pics, son!" when he was showing the president the bio-weapon missiles.
- I like that he also has basically no motivation whatsoever for being the crazy, evil fuck he is
- The lack of Janeane Garafalo in these newer episodes is distressing, she was here for a bit as imitation-Chloe helping Tony hack a keycard-reader but that's not nearly enough.
- So, the question remains, are they actually gonna kill Jack? If so, that's pretty crazy, I guess the show would end up being "The Renne & Tony Hour" at that point.

- Lost was pretty great last night. Not as good as the other Ben-centric episodes but still great nonetheless. That we're finally getting some answers as to the conflict between Ben and Widmore is great but what I was most surprised at was that the episode actually made me feel somewhat sympathetic towards Ben. I like Ben as a character because he's such a master manipulator (though, we're beginning to see that may just be a facade that's starting to crumble) but his basic appeal is that, to be frank, he's a dick to pretty much everyone. That said, "Dead Is Dead" showed that he has a heart (and a soft streak a mile wide when kids are involved) beneath all that calculation. We got some mythology that will get the message board people chattering away (what do those symbols on the smoke monster's lair mean, exactly?) but, more importantly, we developed characters and had a good story. I'm not sure what I thought of the scene with Penny and Desmond at the docks, though. On the one hand, it would have been a cool twist to kill her, on the other, it's a cool twist that would have ripped my heart out (especially since I watched 'The Constant" on DVD on Tuesday). Anyway, next week's episode appears to focus on Miles, who I'd like to learn more about, so, I'm looking forward to it.

- This new Eminem song is sort of confusing to me. I hate the chorus and the tone he's rapping in is dangerously close to the overly-goofy one used on Encore's "funny" tracks but he's rattling off pop-culture stabs at an impressive clip and some of the stabs are actually worthy as stand-alone punchlines (I liked the bit about Ellen Degeneres which segues into a bit about Sarah Palin). It's no "My Name Is" (the jokes are too tame, for one thing and these super up-to-the-minute references are bound to get old pretty quick) but it's also no "Just Lose It" (there's only two lines of juvenile fart-humour type-stuff which aren't too bad, actually). Also, the video's pretty funny, if really similar to earlier videos of his and I like that he's willing to mock his own image in the media (the bit about those photos of him in an Alf shirt that got out a few months back is pretty great). Overall, decent (and way better than that "Crack A Bottle" mess) but I'm still not holding out that much hope for Relapse. Funny thing is, if he just plugged the lyrics from this freestyle into an actual song, it'd actually be better than his past, say, 4 singles.

AND I WILL STRUM MY MERRY WAY

- I have mixed feelings about this week's 24: On the one hand, it was sort-of boring and not a whole lot really happened. On the other, I actually had a genuine emotional connection to what was going on which I don't think I've really felt about 24 since probably season 4. Jack's inability to help due to his sickness crushes him and that's kind of profound. Jack might be the world's foremost badass but he's also a broken, lonely man who's lost everyone important to him in his relentless quest to project his country. You get the sense that the only thing that defines his existence anymore is his ability to keep fighting and, when that's taken away, there's nothing left, no purpose for him to go on. Sure, there was still some ridiculous shit going on (Starkwell rolls up with friggin' armoured Humvees on a group of federal agents, for one) and the for-the-ladies Jack taking his clothes off bit was, um, odd but this episode actually worked as good drama not as the insane action-thriller piece that 24 usually is. Still, one does have to wonder how the writers will write themselves out of this corner, I hope it's not just a "you weren't infected after all!"-type thing, but that or Jon Voight having an antidote in a vial are the only options I can think of right now.

- Lost gets a "meh" from me this week, which I kind of thought it would going in. I don't really like any of the series' Kate-centric episodes and this was no different. Her flashbacks just filled in bits that we already sort-of knew and her on-island action just seemed well-worn. That said, there were bits I enjoyed: Jack's refusal to operate on Ben mirrors Sayid's shooting of him in that both of them, in trying to destroy Ben, unwittingly contribute to creating him. Hurley and Miles' conversation about time travel was good info-dump. But, in spite of the attempts at emotional resonance peppered throughout the story, I viewed this episode rather academically. That said, next week's episode looks awesome. If this preview doesn't get you pumped then I don't know what to say.

- I'm really surprised at this new Bob Dylan song. It's got kind of a Latin groove to it but it still fits in with the earthy blues tones of his last couple albums. And his voice is closer to that restrained Time Out of Mind mumble than the scratchy attempted-croon of Modern Times, that's a very good thing in my book. I hope the whole Together Through Life album keeps up this level of quality.

If you're following my other blog (and, really, why wouldn't you?) I have read over 150 pages of Twilight but I'm holding off on a post for a couple days to collect my thoughts proper and avoid going off-the-cuff with stuff that'll immediately be contradicted by later parts of the book. But, if you'd like a couple first impressions:

- Meyer really devotes a lot of words to describing how handsome Edward is, huh?
- I don't know if the names sounding Victorian (and it might just be me but Bella Swan and Edward Cullen just sound like names more appropriate to a knight and his fair maiden than anything modernist) is an intentional call-back to Jane Austin-style romances or it's just coincidence, but it's kinda odd either way.
- Hey, here's an odd thought: We know from all those testimonials on twilightguy.com that guys do read Twilight, so, why's there no "I [heart] Bella Swan" (or, uh, one of the girl vampires) thing as a contrast to all those "Team Edward" and "Team Jacob" things?
- I may have just thought that last thing because, as much as it pains me to admit this in a public forum, Bella is totally my kind of gal. So, uh, if she ever wants to drop her vampire, I'll be here.
-If you're curious as to which character I relate the most to: It's totally Mike, he's just tries so hard to be nice. He's also sort of clingy and a bit creepy, but, whatever.
- Tonally, it's not nearly as mordant or gothic as I had expected, there's a good bit of levity and petty teen drama to it. Also, Meyer seems to be in love with using really long adjectives, it can be a bit much at times.

That's all from me for now.

FIND MY HARBORCOAT, CAN'T GO OUTSIDE WITHOUT IT

Long time, no post:

- There's been two pretty good episodes of 24 since I last posted. Highlights:

- Jack gets into a car and finds an open laptop on the seat.
- Jack's white-fu showdown with Quinn AKA Bizarro Jack Bauer, climaxing in Jack throwing a screwdriver through a bulletproof vest.
- "If you want to kill me, you have to look me in the eyes", "Alright"
- Senator Mayor AKA Red Foreman AKA the sniper dude from Robocop died; single tear. I was disappointed that he didn't call Jack a dumbass or tell him that the Tigers were playing tonight, though.
- Colm Feore's back!
- Jon Voight is basically the guy who runs Blackwater.
- Tony got captured!
- Good firefight at the loading docks.
- The bad guys clearly know who they're up against because they send an attack helicopter to take out Jack.
- Jack's exposed to the gas: OH NOES.

- Lost was pretty good last week but I don't have much to say about it. It was just a good, solid episode; nothing particularly great but it moved everything along very well. I was also very intrigued by Sayid meeting a young Ben at the end of the episode.

Films I saw over the March Break:

Step-Brothers:
As dumb comedies go, this is a pretty good one. John C. Reiley and Will Ferrel work very well together and that chemistry is able to redeem some, though not all, of the cruder bits. There's also some surprisingly witty banter going on. I'm getting really tired of Ferrel's shtick but I'll give this one a pass.

Punisher: War Zone:
Let me put it this way: Would you like to see a film where someone shoots people while spinning on a chandelier and then rams a chair leg through some dude's eyeball? If you said yes, this one is for you. The "plot" was so simple as to be non-existent, the acting (with the exception of a hilariously over-acting Dominic West as the crime boss) was flat and bland and the film generally reeks of the kind of b-action stink usually reserved for mid-80's Chuck Norris fare. But the action scenes are impeccably constructed with lots of "bam" moments and good variety (firefights here, semi-kung-fu there), so, if you feel like turning your brain off and enjoying some mindless violence for a while there are definitely a lot worse ways to spend your time.

Transporter 3:
A big problem with modern action movies is the choppiness of the fight scenes and this is my big complaint here: everything is cut at such a furious clip there's so sense of scale or chance to absorb anything. The Statham redeems it somewhat and some cool stuff couldn't be ruined by the direction (the car chase was pretty cool, Statham using his shirt to fight a guy was funny) but, overall I just wasn't feeling this one. That said, the acting was good all around and the premise allowed for some good moments. Still, when the point of your movie is action, the action scenes need to be great and, here, they weren't.

Rocknrolla:
Guy Richie's gig is wearing a bit thin on me but this is his best movie since Snatch, not that that's saying very much. Still, the acting worked well, the characters were enjoyably quirky (if a bit less crazy than Richie's other films) and it represents a step forward for Richie in a couple of ways. First, there's actually a female character in one of his movies for once! She's kinda stereotypical but I liked the way Thandie Newton played her. Second, and this was very surprising to me, the gay dude wasn't played as an offensive stereotype; he was just another member of Gerard Butler's group, sexuality near-irrelevant save a couple of quick bits of jokey banter and a rather hilarious dance scene between him and Butler. The plot was a bit too twisty for its own good (I got lost somewhere in all the property-dealing talk) and I think that one more movie of this type is all I can tolerate from Richie. But, for now, this an entertaining bit of gangland whimsy, though I'd still say to watch Snatch before any of his other films.

Know1ng:
Rating for this movie without The Cage: 3/10 (bad Christian symbolism, cheesy SFX, okay acting, end-of-days plot that would have been old hat in the 80's)
Rating for this movie with The Cage: 8/10 (More crazy twitches and nutso eyes than you can shake a stick at. He also unveils some new Cage hand motions. No "Put the bunny back in the box" or "Get off the bike"-level quotes, though)

That's all for now, I'll talk about Resident Evil 5 when I've played a bit more.

DOOO DO DO DOOOOOO DOOOOOO DO DO DO

Last night one of the the greatest blessings of all was given to us in the form of 2 hours of 24. Here are my point form notes of every important event or piece of dialogue:



(Note: as you have probably noticed these notes don't make a lot of sense unless you saw the program, but I digress)



- Renne jumps onto a boat . . . then jumps off of it (I think this was just an excuse to get her wet).

- Why even introduce Dubacku's kid is you're gonnna kill him 20 minutes later?

- Can't Juma hire some people to do this terrorist operation for him?

- "WHERE IS THE TARGET?".

- "He was torturing Burnett . . . in the Whitehouse".

- The Whitehouse apparently only has video monitors in the saferoom.

- Very high body count this episode . . only a couple Bauers though.

- Speaking of that, Jack seems to be the only good guy who can aim for shit.

- I think everyone knows this too because the just let those two Secret Serivce dudes get locked out of the saferoom and be shot when Jack and the Prez get in.

- Bill has plot armour.

- Finally, the Chloe Vs. Janis techie catfight I was waiting for.

- Most of Juma's dudes had automatic weapons but one guy had the ultimate weapon: the tablet PC.

- "I will cut out her eyes one by one".

- God, Tony Todd has gotten fat since The Rock/Candyman.

- I get the sense that Tony isn't telling everything to Bill.

- "I'm driving off a cliff".

- Why did Juma have a picture of the Whitehouse that wasn't a blueprint or anything?

- Aaron went out like a punk.





Overall, this episode reminded me a lot of those ultra-cheesy 80's "US gets invaded by terrorists" action movies such as the pinnacle of cinema known as Invasion USA. In fact, you could just cast Chuck Norris as Jack Bauer and I'd be fooled. Also, Jon Voight's character would probably be a communist rather than an American businessman; that's progress!



Not exactly sure about my feelings towards next week. At the very least, the episode ended on a good, non-arbitrary, cliffhanger.

TRULY, YOU BREAK MY HEART, BUT I'll BE THERE BESIDE YOU

- Lost last night was pretty good, if a bit confusing. Once again, it did feel like a shotgun blast of facts in a certain way, but it was clearly anchored to Locke's story and it was invested with enough panache by the actors that I never felt bored. I do like the interesting way that they're playing Ben and Widmore off of each other , such that the audience doesn't know which one to trust. Lost has always played with a lot of ambiguities but this is a particularly interesting one; I'm definitely excited for next next week.

Also, Locke is a pretty hardcore driver.

- Monday's 24 definitely made up for last week's boringness. So much insane shit went down that I probably don't remember every awesome thing but here's a brief summary:

- Jack driving through a park
- A van doing a freakin' barrel roll
- Renne slapping Jack ("Do you feel that?")
- Renne pulling her gun on Jack
- Dubacku having a microchip UNDER HIS SKIN
- Oily FBI programmer dude shooting his girlfriend while making-out with her
- "I want to see my attorney"
- The totally out-of-the-blue appearance from Tony at the end, introducing the next threat ("This is real, Jack.")
- "OPEN HIM UP"

The one complaint I have is that the episode continued in the pattern of this season in that by the end of the episode the entire threat is over but then there's an arbitrary, tacked-on thing at the end of the episode to keep the plot going. In this case, it was especially glaring.

Also, Janeane Garafalo was in there for, like, 20 seconds at most. I am not impressed by this.

- Slumdog Millionaire is, in essence, a fairytale but it's a pretty good one and it's told with an eye-popping visual style, acted with verve and strength and blessed with one of the best scores in a long while. It's basically Danny Boyle dressing up old-school Hollywood pictures with hyper-active directing (even the way the subtitles are done feels innovative and fresh) and a modernist setting; he's daring you not to fall for these elements that are older than you (the long-lost, destined, love, the brother vs. brother conflict, the rags-to-riches plot arc), and you do fall for them. Partly because they're so durable but also because they're invested with wide-eyed sincerity by the actors and a genuine interest by the director. I'm glad that this movie won Best Picture at the Oscars because I think it shows that people are ready to accept movies that make them feel good as genuine art again ; especially when compared to last year's winner, the cold-hearted No Country For Old Men (which, to be clear, I do like), it's a tribute to the human spirit and the power of true love. And, I'll admit, I got a little choked up when our man Jamal and the love of his life Latika finally meet in the train station at the end of the movie for their big kiss and the answer to the question that runs throughout the entire movie ("How did Jamal win all this money?", in essence) is flashed on the screen ("It is written"); it was one of the most powerfully emotional moments of cinema I've seen in a long while.

Of course, the movie cleverly undercuts this over-the-top sentimentality of that scene in the following dance number as the credits roll, but, to me, that just makes it even better.

I HAVEN'T SEEN SANDY, AND JOHNNY OR MARY

- 24 was sort-of boring last night, not a whole lot really happened and overall it just felt like an episode of the writers moving all the pieces into place for the next set of episodes. But this sort of downtime is necessary to set up the more action-packed episodes, so, I remain hopeful for next week. Also, Janeane Garafalo was particularly sexy this week (mostly because she was all pissed off at everyone) and I'm willing to forgive a lot for that.

- SHOOT THE GLASS

- Hans brings sexy back

- There are few things better on Youtube than this

- This article says a lot of what I was trying to say about Mad Men in a much more intelligent way (even if I disagree with the somewhat blunt assessment of the show's characterization of its female characters as misogynistic)

- Suzanne's Diary For Nicholas persists in being pretty good stuff. Some of the language is a bit too flowery for its own good and the characters seem to speak in poem a lot of the time but I still like it a lot.

God, I don't have very much to write about today. Somebody needs to give me a topic to go off on.

JUST A LITTLE LATE, YOU FOUND ME

- Suzanne's Diary For Nicholas is a really good book so far (I'm about halfway through it). I think that Patterson has a really deft touch with whatever he's writing and it's odd but the rhythms of his writing style really works in the context of a romance. It's like he's writing chick-lit as a suspense thriller, if that makes any sense. I guess it's just because Patterson honed his craft doing all those Alex Cross novels but he knows how to make you keep turning pages, even if the concerns are less crazy kidnapper masterminds and more heart-rending emotional moments. He's certainly not high art but he knows pop-lit like nobody's business. Small annoyance: "It's not you, it's me" is used at one point. I'm waiting for "it's not me, it's you", which I'll probably have said to me at least once in my life.

- Hannibal, the book, sort of sucks. Not as much as the movie, but, still. Thomas Harris is a brilliant writer in a technical sense but I seriously think that he doesn't understand his characters, or at least their appeals, at all. Here's a hint: Hannibal Lecter is interesting because he's never explained (or, as he puts it, in Silence Of The Lambs, "Nothing happened to me, I happened"), tacking on a stupid backstory about his dead sister only weakens him by providing a pat psychological explanation for his crimes (and don't even get me started about Hannibal Rising). Also, part of the terror of Hannibal is that we never see what he does to his victims; the brain scene and the mirror scene might work as gross-out moments and/or dark comedy but they seriously weaken Lecter's capacity to frighten. And his dialogue often crosses the line from "darkly funny" to "campy".

Furthermore, while I buy that Clarice would be burned out after ten years in the FBI, I don't buy that she would become Hannibal's lover to get away from that life. There's certainly a romantic underpinning to their relationship but as full-on romantic companions, I just don't see it happening. Though this may only be because I want Clarice Starling to always be single because she's my dream girl and I like to feel like I have some weird "chance" with her (even though she's, you know, fictional and all that), I dunno.

I sort of have to give Harris credit for sticking all manners of insane shit into the novel, though. I know of few writers who would think it's a good idea to have a guy cut his face off with a mirror and feed it to his dogs, or have that same dude get killed by having an electric eel stuffed down his throat by his lesbian sister who he used to molest with candy bars as a kid. And you have to respect an author who can get away with that and call it legitimate literature, to some degree.

- 24 was pretty sweet last night. Highlights:
- Colm Feore getting his finger lopped off
- Jack's brilliant retort to Larry ("The rules are what make us better" "Not today")
- Dubacku's conversation with his girlfriend ("You're kind enough for the both of us")
- Jack speeding into oncoming traffic
- Renne being a hardass ("I will shoot you where you stand"), and being very attractive while doing it, I might add.
- Presdient Taylor being a hardass (I might also add that it's interesting to see the typical spouse-kidnapping plot having the genders reversed), not looking as pretty while doing it
- Jack deploying his white-fu against a corrupt Secret Serivce agent
- Jack imitating Chow Yun-Fat while taking out a group of terrorists.
- A car getting blown-up with an RPG
- Janeane Garafalo being all sexy when she gets pissed off at that weaselly computer programmer guy. Let me tell you two things: 1) Janeane Garafalo can critique my work habits any day of the week, if you catch my drift and 2) That guy, and Larry, to a lesser extent, are stone cold idiots; they've got Janeane Garafalo (who is, presumably, single) there and they're ignoring her in favour of cheating on their wife with an FBI programmer in an uncomfortably short skirt and pining over a girl who is presumed dead, respectively; morons.

My only real complaints were that Dubacku leaving right before Jack burst in was a little too convenient for my taste, that, yet again, the terrorist hideout is in the back of a store and I still wonder how they're gonna keep going, given that the terrorists have zero leverage over the White House now. Also, they (maybe?) killed Colm Feore, this makes me sad.

- Those Robin Hudson mysteries are really good if you're looking for a relatively light read. They're short, they're funny and they're femme-noir (my new term I just made up for a film noir-esque thing with woman as the main character). And, really, is there anything more sexy than a red-headed lady journalist solving mysteries and being all wittily cynical about everything? Yes, but only if that lady journalist is also Janeane Garafalo.

That's all I've got to say for now, I'm seeing Gran Torino tonight and I'll report back on that tomorrow. Leave a comment if you'd like.

WELCOME BACK TO THE STAGE OF HISTORY

If you really need a detailed background on me, just check out my Facebook page. But since if you're reading this, you probably already know me, I'm not going to give much of an introduction.

I'm feeling sort of lazy right now, so, I'm going to write out my current thoughts in point form:

- People I know are really into that movie Zeitgeist but, for the most part, I don't get it. The religion section makes sense, sure, but it also presents things that anybody could tell you as if they're grand revelations. The 9/11 section makes a few decent ponts (mostly in regards to the lack of preparation) but is mostly Loose Change-esque BS. And don't get me started on the banking part. The level of paranoia that went into that movie is just insane, and I'm not even a guy who is particularly trustful of the government but you can take that shit to a level even I'm not comfortable with.

There's also the general problem with all of these conspiracy movies: Namely, if the conspiracy is so well-organized and wide-ranging as they claim it is, why are the movies themselves allowed to exist?

- I'm of two minds about Valentine's Day: One the one hand, it's obviously commercial Hallmark-holiday BS. On the other, I'd probably feel a lot better about life in general if I had someone to celebrate it with.

- The last episode of Lost was sort of boring, barring Sayid's take-down of that med-tech. I still like the show, but as it's starting to come to a close, I'm worried that the drive to answer all the questions could make the individual episodes less entertaining. We're probably not gonna see another "The Constant" (which is great but only somewhat connected to the overrall plot; in fact, it could almost be a stand-alone thing). However, Jin still being alive at the end of the episode made my day.

- Why is 24 going into an inane "Find the president's husband", kidnapping plot? That's season one stuff; the death of one dude doesn't cut it anymore, 24 writers (even if that dude is Colm Feore). This had better be just a front for another massive-scale-damage plot by the terrorists. Dubacku's conversation with his girlfriend at the end was hilarious, though.

- "You Found Me" is basically the perfect melding of every form of popular music made by white people in the past 5 years. It's like Coldplay and Keane got together and got some uber-sincere emo-band guy to sing and write lyrics, it's awesome. I have zero interest in listening to The Fray's actual album, but this one song is pretty great.

- Crank 2 looks even more gleefully insane and offensive than the first one, which is saying something. It's like the directors went "What minority groups did we not offend last time?". The answer: Latinos and Asians. At least judging from the trailer, which features kung-fu master dudes with long eyebrows, dragon-tattoo sporting Yakuza goons, a guy who looks like the one dude from Ichi The Killer and fat Cubans driving sportscars. It's a gaggle of stereotypes and stupidity and I wouldn't have it any other way. One potential flaw: Amy Smart's character is now a stripper; that doesn't make a whole lot of sense since she was the "nice, naive girl" who provided contrast to the Maxim model-types otherwise featured in the first film.

- Coldplay should win Album Of The Year, not because they made the best album but because it's the best out of the ones nominated. Radiohead's album was fine but it was also regressive for them. What I heard of Ne-Yo (i.e the singles) was bland, formulaic modern R & B . Raising Sand was inconsistent; the good parts were great but you could tell when they were inspired and when they weren't. Same story, Lil Wayne (he also fell into the typical rap-album trap of "make one song for everyone", it's just less noticeable with him because he's more versatile than, say, Nas). My vote for best album would probably be either Kanye's 808s and Heartbreak or The '59 Sound by The Gaslight Anthem.

- I also do not care about this whole Coldplay/Joe Santriani situation. Santriani might be a brilliant guitar player but Coldplay run circles around him in terms of making actually good songs. In the words of Metallica, sad but true.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. If you'd like to comment on anything, leave a, uh, comment.